Happy mystery Monday!
Several months back, I did a post on an urban legend from my home town of St Louis about the spooky Zombie Road and to quote one of my favourite you tubers, Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, “Like a porn series that already knows it’s going to have a sequel, I’m putting a big number 1 in the title.”, I named the last post “Urban Legends #1” because I knew that this is a subject that I would like to revisit because I value the tradition of story telling and urban legends are something I feel like are waning in style. I don’t mean to say I feel like they’re going obsolete nor that I believe there will ever be a time we move away from them, in fact Slender Man is arguable proof that urban legends are alive and well(1), however there are smaller local legends that rarely leave the city or place of their origin unless told and retold by wandering bards(2), like yours truly.
This one, however, is much less sinister then the two previously mentioned but none the less has an element of morbidity which, I’ve come to terms with, is quite an attractive element in stories to me(3).
I first learned about this story because I was walking with a friend and we saw a solitary Magpie and she saluted it and said “Good Morning, Mr. Magpie. How are the wife and kids?” and kept going like it was something completely normal well adjusted adults do.
And I’m not one to judge I talk to animals and plants like they’re people all the time however, never have I ever considered saluting one (or anyone for that matter). I asked and they just told me “That’s just what you do when you see one alone.” and then recited the following nursery rhyme:
One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five for silver,
Six for gold,
Seven for a secret never to be told.
“Brilliant. That Explains everything. ಠ_ಠ”
So I did what I do and learned a few things about the magpie and why this became a thing.
I learned that magpies, like many species of bird, mate for life and that seeing a solitary magpie is a sign of sorrow because it can mean the solitary bird has lost its mate and if you see two it is a sign of joy ergo the rhyme “One for sorrow; two for joy…”. The salute is a sign of respect, similar to tipping of the hat, and asking after its wife and kids is to assume that it just happens to be away from the family.
The rest of the rhyme comes from a tradition of divining the future based on the behavior of birds called “Augury”, IE if you see five magpies you’re in for some money.
The depth of the myth goes on with variations of the rhyme, why magpies are bad luck (or in Chinese symbolism, they’re actually good luck), and different ways to ward off the bad luck crossing a singular magpie.
If you have a piece of urban lore you want to share, please feel free to leave a comment below about it.
- Slender Man seems to fit the definition of “urban legend” as provided by dictionary.com
3. In talking to one of my friends about some of my favourite authors, bands, poets, movies, video games, and the stories I’m working on she said to me “Fin, I think you might be a little death obsessed.” Now I’m taking a Victorian Gothic Horror class at university and I kind love it. Love thy self, right?
Happy Friday Folks!
Oh boy it’s here guys, the long awaited end of 2016 and what a fucking strange year it’s been. There are already plenty of articles talking about how many people we lost year, the implications of a Trump presidency and how relations between the US and Cuba will change with the death of Castro, and if the Cubs can take the World Series is that a good omen for the Blues in the Stanley Cup? (like did you even SEE the hat trick the other night?!)
However here I want to just reflect a little bit about my personal year (don’t worry, there is a comic this week) because as you can probably guess it has been a big year for me.
- I got accepted into Lancaster as an exchange student in March
- I got sober 25 April 2016
- I started Offbeat On point in May
- I got to live in one of my “Dream Neighborhoods” over the summer(1) (June – September)
- I ran my first half marathon (110 minutes) in July
- I moved to a new country (October)
- I got to meet my musical hero MC Chris (November)
- I got accepted into Lancaster as a degree seeking student (December)
- I celebrated my first Xmas away from home
Overall it’s been a good year but it hasn’t been with out struggle. Most of this year I’ve spent in one form or another of extreme isolation.
Before getting sober, this was my life:
Monday – Thrusday: School (12 credit hours), work (30 hours), drink alone at home until I couldn’t remember passing out(2).
Friday – Sunday: Friday I would work then go home and drink. Saturday and Sunday I would do 12 hours of homework each day then come home and drink.
I had no friends left and I sort of tried to make friends at work and school fell kinda flat for numerous reasons. After getting sober, school was out and I started working a lot more, got promoted to manager at the sandwich shop and got back an old job I had in light construction. Between the two jobs I was working 80-100 hour weeks, which has never never really been a problem for me because ever since high school I’ve kept a kinda manic schedule where I would be “on” for a few months to a year and “off” for a few months to a year (“on” = working and/or in school; “off” = unemployed and not in school or unemployed and in school) which is partly why I’m 28 and still working towards a bachelor’s degree. All of this considered, you can probably start to see why I didn’t have friends.
When I got here, I knew from pretty early on that I was going to spend winter holiday alone on campus and that isolation kind of scared me a lot. Like a lot a lot. The week before xmas was my first week alone here and I might have been alone but I felt so so loved because every single day I would wake up to a phone full of messages from friends who lived in my block and others from school (and the odd person from the states) texting me “Hey how’s Lancaster?” “How are you doing?” “What’s the weather like there?” and it would literally take me about an hour every day to respond to everyone(3). I’ve mentioned before that I feel the warmth of community here and that sense of community has really changed me. Not dramatically but it’s helped me heal quite a bit. It’s been a hard year for everyone but let’s not forget to take stock of the beautiful little moments that we’ve enjoyed this year.
Have a happy and safe New Years Eve, folks.
- I mentioned in a previous article about the Webster Groves area but basically it’s one giant botanical neighborhood just on the county/city line where people who make much more money than I ever hope to live but what gives me (a little) hope is the guy I was living with was the original editor and chief of a few small local news papers and he had a nice place. If that writer could make a good living, I can too (maybe).
- I could hold my own when in company, as in I could drink upwards of 30 drinks in a night and not vomit, but when you develop a long term drinking habit you start to experiment and see if you can get that nail that precise amount of alcohol to time ratio for the “daily ritual”. Mine was a 6 pack of beer, 3 nips (this is what we called airplane bottle shots, usually 1.5 floz/50mL), in the space of 3 hours. I had it down to a science because when you’re a functional alcoholic, having “leftovers” is a really bad idea because when you wake up: you already have booze and because of that I found it very very hard to get my day started. I needed to not have booze in the house so I could be motivated to get some work done and then walk to the shop for my “reward”. Also if you don’t have enough booze, woah that is like seriously the worst. Like you drink and drink then if you’re still awake and booze free then you’re at a conundrum: walk to the store and pray it’s not too late to buy booze (legal limit was 3am in St Louis but frequently grocery stores, they had the best prices, would shut down their booze isle by 1 or 1.30am) or try to tough it out. Guess what won most times. This set amount played deeply into the psychology of being in control. See I knew even if I ate, I’d pass out; I knew if I got this much, it would be enough and if I wanted leftovers I knew that I would need more; I also knew when to start drinking to be in bed by a certain time, I could even tell by texts and other time stamps precisely when I would black out and just about how long I was conscious before I actually fell asleep. All these things are important in the addict’s mind when trying to maintain the illusion of control because as long as you’re in control, you don’t have a problem.
- Taking so long is probably mostly my fault because I like to talk and my average text is probably 160-300 characters.
Folks, I got something strange and wonderful for you today. As a kid I was big time into old school metal(1) then something happened and I just kind of fell out of not only metal but like all music for years(2). It wouldn’t be until 2013 when I moved into a house with 5 other guys in South City St Louis when I would rediscover some of the joys of what I had been missing in the metal world and The Algorithm is a big player in that scene for me.
I was first introduced to them via their concept album, an album that seeks to serve a bigger purpose or tell a story, think Ziggy Stardust or Joe’s Garage, Polymorphic Code is a mathcore album that has a unifying theme of a hacker or virus getting access to a system, causing some chaos, then the ensuing panic. Some of my favourite tracks include tracks: 2. Bouncing Dot, 3. Trojans, and 4. Access Granted.
They have a couple more albums out now, Octopus4 and Brute Force, and are going on tour in Thursday 06 July 2017 at Newark, UK with The Black Dahlia Murder, Obscura, Aborted, Hacktivist, and Ingested. Tickets start at £10.00.
- Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Metallica were my four go to bands.
- Age 15 – 19, not particularly sure why or what caused the shift however thanks to the firefox stumble upon addon button, a mild internet addiction, and a seriously lacking social life while at my first University, I found Lunar and rekindled was my love for music.
It’s gotten cold here in England. Which is an interesting thing this time around because normally I don’t like the cold and the rain and have spent a lot of time avoiding it while I lived in St Louis particularly when it was doing both at the same time. However here I don’t seem to get as cold easily nor the rain bother me. I’m not entirely sure if it’s just because it gets so much colder in St Louis or if it is a shift in my personal body chemistry however one thing that has changed is my level of social interactions which has grown much warmer since leaving.
When I was in the lou, I was left isolated socially, mostly my fault the longer I look at whether due to poor life choices or poor decisions in friends. Social isolation is something that leaves my heart cold, less caring. However here being in a communal living situation I’ve been introduced to the fact of living with lots of people over night. I’ve been living away from my parents for over 10 years and have grown accustom to a wide variety of social living conditions from living in a one bedroom house alone, to living with 5 other guys in a massive house and lots of things in between but none of it was as communal as this is. Everyday I see the same people, 7 of us inc me, share 1 kitchen and 2 bathrooms, and everyday we share the same struggles of acceptance, school work, cultural adjustment, money, and seeking out our place. Living in this close proximity to strangers is both a wonderful and challenging experience that has left me feeling exhilarated and exhausted, loved and hated, apart of a bigger community and isolated depending on the day. Communal living has been a wild ride so far but it’s left me anything but feeling cold.
I have been listening to this album on repeat the last few weeks, Soon It Will Be Cold Enough by Emancipator. I don’t remember how I found it, somewhere through the youtubes. It’s a strange and funny and a little bit sad music experience. I will write about it more in depth at a later point on a Wednesday but it has left me feeling the want for real snow. It’s only rained here. Maybe it’ll snow over winter holiday.
NOTE: I am using [sic] to indicate that these people said these specific words to demonstrate that I’m not exaggerating the incredible rudeness I encountered.
As many of my regular readers probably know, I left my mother city of St Louis (Follow link for more information, however TL;DC [Too Lazy; Didn’t Click] St Louis is a Beer City with a Baseball problem [among other problems] that’s about 300 miles south on the mighty Mississippi River) 1st October 2016 at 4.20pm (tee-hee) central time on my first ever journey out of the United States for the University of Lancaster in the UK and the experience has been absolutely beautiful, depraved, loving, dysphoric, and already significantly life changing.
I believe in the some-what superstitious idea of synchronicity(1) and this being said, as much as I will always love St Louis as my Mother City, I believe she was giving me her blessing by fire to leave in three little flares:
Flare #1: The Thursday before I left, I was trying run around town and finish the things I didn’t do yet because procrastination which when you’re errands depend on the public transit system in St Louis, it can take up to 4 hours round trip for less than a 20 mi/32.187km trip. This being the case, I’m pretty used to eating on the go and being so close to leaving I was eating lots of glorious trash gas (petrol) station foods to avoid having groceries that I wouldn’t be able to eat before leaving. I have some pretty wicked hair(2) and hair this wild was never made to play well with hats. However I haven’t yet found a proper alternative to the skull cap for winter weather which leads to results that look kinda like this:
So be me, sweaty from dressing for the cold morning weather that turned up to mild summer weather in the span of my transit travels and no longer wanting to be in a hot hat. Taking it off when I arrive at the gas station and feeling self conscious but mostly hungry I made a bee-line for the junk food section and load up some slightly-burnt hot dogs and hot-dog-shaped chicken things and mildly-satisfying-for-the-price taquitos and jump in line(3) and the over middle aged cashier checks me out and says to his coworkers (as a complete non-sequitur) “…speaking of I need to get in touch with my lazy-ass [sic] barber because my hair is starting to look like absolute shit [sic].” To wit I thought “So it makes you feel good to insult boys half your age about their hair passively you fucking limp dick? Not only you insult your barber who earns an honest living unlike you’re dead end gas station attendant job?” However I’ve been trying to remember Louie’s advice “Let it go, Fin. You’ll be happier for it.” and resisted spitting sulpher and walked away letting the miserable prick marinate in his own negativity.
Flare #2: Saturday morning rolls around and I’m ready to leave this city. I’ve had people who I considered friends ignore me completely in any respects to hang out one last time before leaving, we had been having miserable weather, and I was still a little pissed off about the hat hair comment (I mean the guy works in the HOSPITALITY industry, what kind of mum teaches their child to behave in such a manour much less at work?) however the bus stop to take me to the airport was literally less than a block from the front door of my motel room which made me pretty happy. I packed (almost) everything I own in the world in a big roller bag that I had received as present for the first time I went off to university(4) however it was the very cheap Prestige brand of bag(5). Before I even got to the bus stop (less than one block), the wheels broke off and the bottom of the bag was getting a friction hole exposing a structural wire. I’m convinced that Prestige brand bags are the type of bags you gift your traveler friend you’re trying to sabotage because they will not last more than one trip, if that.
Skiplagged is a pro-consumer travel website that aims to make it easier to experience the world. We expose secrets of the industry by finding airfares not found anywhere else that can easily save you up to 80%. FAQ
Regardless of how infomercial the pitch sounds, I literally got my flight here for 500$, the next cheapest being 1000$. The itinerary I had purchased didn’t use American Airlines (instead using the appropriate “Finnair”) to get me from St Louis to Chicago and on presenting this to the boarding pass counter, the lady looks at my itinerary and says “What the fuck [sic] is this?”
Me: My itinerary?
To which she gives me a dirty look (another prime example of St Louis Hospitality) and told me to wait and went off to talk to her equally vapid and rude coworker to figure out my business.
Finally after over 30 minutes of waiting she comes back and mumbles “I guess I’ll try this again.” and when she finds my boarding pass she says to her computer screen “This was a fucking stupid [sic] way to buy a plane ticket.” Be me (again), wheels have fallen off my 70lb/31.752kg and I’m tired from manually carrying the thing around to keep it from breaking further and for the second time in 3 days I’m being insulted passively to my face from an individual in the hospitality industry. “Let it go, Fin.”
I’ll be the first to admit, I was deeply unhappy being in St Louis long before deciding on this trip however I found it deeply bothersome to be treated with such blatant hostility from people who have jobs in an industry that is supposed to be focused on good manours. And maybe this rubs me especially hard because I’m a food industry veteran of 13 years and I’ve fired people for less. This sort of behaviour is absolutely unacceptable particularly when not provoked, however what bothers me the most is that both of the people from #1 and #3 I guarantee have higher wages than I’ve had at my peak regardless of my practice of loving compassionate kindness. Even now, just writing this is making me grind my teeth. “Let it go, Fin.”
Fear not, my dear reader, after 1300+ words there is a happy ending: Since touching down in the UK every single person (inc hospitality workers, flat mates, university workers, strangers, literally EVERYONE) has been radically kind, polite, and frequently even nice to the point of “sweetheart” levels. Never have I ever encountered any place where everyone says “please, thank you, excuse me, sorry” so frequently which among other things (that I plan to cover in a future piece “Cultural Dysphoria: An American Abroad” [working title]) has made it easy to fall head over heels in love with the people of the United Kingdom. For the first time in my life, I feel safe and accepted.
- I also believe in: ghosts, astrology, lucky pennies, that I can communicate with non-human living beings via deep empathy (inc trees, insects, birds, dogs, plants; in fact I had a basil plant named Bob once, he was a good plant but when he died because my thumbs are flesh coloured rather than the prerequisite green I had a funeral for em and I felt really bad which is why I don’t aspire to have pets, plants, or children in the near future; R.I.P. Bob, the basil lemon chicken I made with you was wonderful and I won’t forget it anytime soon), and that I can in fact identify as a cartoon stick-figure in real life as a legitimate claim. This should give you a nice flavour for the sort of coconut I have on top of my stick-ish torso.
- Or a queue, which I’m learning is the Official British National past time, as someone in London told me “If ever in doubt, just form a queue and people will follow suit”, however I honestly wouldn’t call it a queue in the states because we’re more likely just to make an amorphis blob especially at gas stations.
- Straight out of high school (or college, being the English equivalent) I went off to the University of Missouri – Columbia aka Mizzou however after crushing the fuck out of my first term at 18 credit hours and a 4.0, over winter break I discovered the wonders of marijuana which lead to term two crushing the fuck out of me and leading me into what I’ve termed “7 Years of Summer Break”.
- Wal-mart’s “exclusive” travel bag line. You get like a full 8 bag set for like 30$. Avoid at all costs.
I leave tomorrow Saturday 1st of October at 4.20pm (central time) and I couldn’t be more anxious, excited, primed, ready, happy, and so many more complex emotions I can’t entirely wrap my brain around yet. I don’t have much to say today but I have a comic I want to share with you my friends. Next time I post, I’ll be in the United Kingdom.
Happy Monday and Labor Day for my American readers.
This info-graph is a general overview of the series.
The Hitchhiker’s guide has an interesting history beginning as a pitch for a 6 part series called “The Ends of the Earth” where the earth ends at the end of each episode surly many of them end on a stupid Thursday(1). This idea eventually evolved into what we have here today and then some(2) including the movie adaptation of the first book.
This series has a pretty close place to my heart and I have a pretty long history with it, probably the longest/first bookmance(3) I’ve ever had. I remember when I was a kid, somewhere around 13-15 years old, my dad gave me the first Hitchhiker’s guide book.
It might have been my first literary brush with literary si-fi, I was brought up on Red Dwarf(4) so I was well prepared, and it was good. Really good.
My dad had all the rest of the original books up to So Long and Thanks For All the Fish and I ate them all up. I have specific memories of reading these books in school and literally laughing out loud involuntarily in class. I’m pretty easy to laugh(5) but usually I’m pretty good at restraining my self in public but this book got me several times. Even on revisits.
Fast forward a few years and I’m at a book store, constantly building my library (sometimes I like to think about the day when I have enough books, that I’ve actually read AND enjoy no cheating with “the entire Steven King collection”, to make a book fort(6)), and I see this almost biblical looking version of the collection which was really nice because it came with a tassel bookmark. This copy got donated after the first or second library purge(7) and in the last year since getting back into school I’ve begun replacing or obtaining copies of books I remember reading and enjoying but had borrowed from a friend or the library and this series was recommended to me on amazon.
This is my third and most recent re-reading of the series and I’ve had mixed reactions. At first I was totally pumped to read this thinking I would blow through it in a few weeks but it ended up taking me about two months to read 815 pages +/- 20 pages because they count the title and dedication pages in between each book and most of that was spent trudging through Life, The Universe, and Everything. However we will get to that in time. The good news is that this series starts and ends pretty strongly (see info-graph above).
As in Adams style(8), over the next 7 weeks I will present to you:
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Ultimate Review:
A 7 part review in 8 parts
Tune in next week for part II: The actual review for The Hitchhiker’s to the Galaxy the book.
- The Earth is destroyed on a Thursday afternoon several times in the series.
- As I learned in researching this article that there has been yet another novel added to the series called “…and another thing.” which, I personally, do not count as cannon and will not likely read the reasons for which will become clear as this series progresses.
- If we can have words like “bromance“, which I reluctantly have adopted in specific situations, I’m championing the word “bookmance”. I’ve submitted a definition to urban dictionary and I might adopt the word for one year for 25$ on wordnik, my favourite dictionary site. Depends on if urban diction approves.
- I have so many fond memories of late night Sunday, kind of like tonight actually (as I write this that is), as a kid with my parents watching the foreign shows on PBS channel nine like Red Dwarf (British) and The Red Green Show (Canadian). These came on, if I remember right, after the X-Files on Sunday nights. Sometimes we would order Cecil’s or Imo’s Pizza, St Louis Style pizza, and it was pretty much the best. I have a lot of television related memories, more the scheduling aspects rather than the shows them selves. I don’t know, there’s an essay memoir in there. Something in Infinite Jest rattled it loose. Stay tuned.
- I read a snapple facts once “Snapple fact #831: Adults laugh only about 15 to 100 times a day, while six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day.” and I keep meaning to start a data crunch project on this, I keep track of other things in my journal. Another thing for the list.
- As a minimalist I have regular purge events where I strip down to bare essentials however in the last major purge I decided to begin building a library rather than holding on to a few prized pieces, however I do prune it regularly.
- His series started as a trilogy and remains to be frequently refereed to as a trilogy because humour.
Good morning my lovely reader or at least it is still morning where I am and it is a beautiful one.
I have announcements for my regular readers, however they’re pretty general so everyone is invited to stay for a moment.
This week, as my regulars can probably guess, has been a confusing and busy one. Now that I’m at the cap of the week and have had a moment to construct my thoughts I feel that I should say a few things.
As you may or may not know, I’m a student who is trying to study abroad in England for the up coming scholastic year and I am at the climax of the bureaucratic leg of this dramatic journey. I sent off my student visa application and am pending approval. Regardless of where I take classes this year(1), I have already begun working ahead and have the rest of the year’s worth of Monday posts worked out so that you can keep getting quality (at least I, think this is quality) posts every Monday and I can focus on Friday posts and life at large (see footnote 1).
This is the projected schedule:
5th Sept – 24th Oct
- A 7 part review of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series in 8 parts à la débandade or in the style of Adams, both translate the same
31st Oct (Halloween)
- Ocean at the End of the Lane by Gaiman
- All the Pretty Horses by McCarthy
- wherever I end up taking classes this term, I believe I will be in midterms hell by this point. I will likely take one of these weeks off an the other will be something relatively light hearted.
5th Dec (Louie’s Deathday!) – 2nd Jan 2017
- Remember the “SURPRISE” from Nov 14th?
As for Fridays? I’m still in the formative phase of this blog and I believe Mondays are good book review days so when ever I have a book review, it will be Monday. However since this blog was never intended to be exclusively a literary blog, I wanted to keep Fridays more flexible.
I’ve been watching a lot of classic movies in prep for this class I signed up for in
England called “Literature in Film”, which I am obnoxiously excited for, and almost all of them are based on books so I might do a Flicks Friday thing, however I haven’t read/don’t (yet) own all the books to these movies. Though I might do movie reviews and have a book counterpart review later when I do read the book. I’m also working on a film/book juncture essay examining the confluence of two story telling mediums and maybe proposing where one can learn from the other or even form a new hybrid genre. It’s a really big idea that I’ve been wrestling with for a few months now, so no promises when that will be finished but it is an aspect of storytelling that interests me.
I’m also working on a graphic novel, but very slowly, and I’m toying with making more comics in the Fin & Louie cannon (I have a birthday comic for Fin, 23rd Sept) so I might make Friday Funny however ultimately right now I’m just spit balling ideas and will for the moment keep Friday Formless so I can do what ever I want.
If you have any suggestions, comments, concerns, book/movie recommendations, well wishes, etc feel free to leave a comment below. I’m pretty open to suggestion however suggestions are subject to discretion. No ideas are bad ideas. Unless they’re bad ideas. I trust your judgment.
- Due to lots of complicated factors, I am fully prepared for my visa application to be rejected and in which case I have a lot of work to do (find new housing, late registering for classes [then catching up in said classes], and possibly find another job) in a very small amount of time (depends on how long it takes to get the results back but if nothing else I need to be in a new housing situation or on a plane by Oct 1st and have to have begun late registering for classes if necessary by Oct 1st, so like at best I have 3 weeks but probably closer to like 5 days).
MC Chris is great. He’s a nerdcore rapper which basically means he writes songs about star wars, becoming a zombie, and robo-tripping on prom night. He has been trying to put out a cartoon for a really long time now, The MC Chris Cartoon, but it keeps getting shut down and that’s deeply frustrating. Check out the pitch ^^^ it looks really really funny.
Here’s a list of some of my favourite songs by MC.
Fett’s Vette – The first rap song I memorized.
I Want Candy – who doesn’t?
Reese – I’ve tried memorizing this song but I can’t even keep up with printed lyrics. Dude looses me towards the end of the history of chocolate/peanut butter riff. He’s just so fast.
MC Chris is Dead – Don’t let him vomit on you.
Pizza Butt – “Is it delivery? No it’s Digiorno, microwave it and put it in a porno!”
DQ Blizzard – I don’t even know where to start..
WiiD – He’s a big fan of the green stuff.
Older Crowd – “PLEASE PARK IT MARGARET, I MUST DANCE”
Kill It – MC Chris you are my hero
I realize there is probably at least one person who reads my tag line “A literary blog…kinda” and think “Carbs! This toon(1) leans heavily on the ‘…kinda’ bit.” and sure I’ll give you that, but you want literature? Look at some of these lyrics. They’re poetry.
I’m a devious degenerate
Defender of the devil
Shut down all the trash compactors
On the detention level
Take this stanza from Fett’s Vette. Look at the alterations of “devious degenerate” and “defender…devil”. Notice the rhyme between “devil” and “level”.
World’s Fair, Chicago in the year of 1893,
a man named Milton, a disaster outta Lancaster, P.
Inspired by the Germans and their chocolate making machinery
he invented milk chocolate or stole it from the Swiss, that’s history.
So Milton built a factory, and a town and a park and a school for orphans,
made bars and kisses and chips real cheap so poor peeps could afford them.What a great depression – Nine-Twenty, not funny, no money in the pocket,
‘cept Pennsylvania where Milton kept on cranking out chocolate.
The Mr. Goodbar and then a World War and Milton did his part.
Made anti-aircraft guns and sent the soldiers chocolate bars.
Meanwhile they had a ship in, was secretly dipped in peanut butter
in his Pennsylvania basement. It was so exciting, cue the lightning/thunder.
Name’s Harry Burnett, you can bet my ass didn’t go to Harvard.
Be hold up in a cup, couldn’t have done it without George Washington Carver.
“I was living the high life – champagne, limousine, it was a trip,
then I died of a heart attack – all for naught, I was bought in fifty-six.”
Now please fast-forward to the seventies, scientists discover Penuche.
Peanut Butter’s too oily, Pieces takes their part in the food chain,
and their name is commonplace in the latest interview with a lady named Witherspoon.
Or take the history rift from Reese. Notice the rhyme scheme in the first four lines, shortening brilliantly shortening “Pennsylvania” to “P.” to fit the rhyme. Notice the slant rhyme in the next stanza between “pocket” and “chocolate” and more so notice the use of the “f” sound tying the entire stanza together from “factory”, “orphans”, “afford” and “funny”.
It goes on and on and it’s not only extremely entertaining but a sign of his linguistic talent. MC Chris is not only a rapper but also a voice actor and a generally creative mind. My intent with this post is not only to raise awareness of this underrated sub-genre of hip-hop and this artist but also to hopefully bring to attention the cartoon pitch that MC Chris has been trying to make a reality for over 3 years now, a pitch I am invested in being a fan of his work. I know I don’t have the money to back his cartoon but I hope that in raising more awareness about the pitch that maybe someone of influence will notice the potential. Besides, aside from Rick and Morty there aren’t many genuinely creative, funny, and intelligent western adult cartoons.
If you watched the pitch and liked it, share it (don’t worry about sharing this specific post, the pitch would get lost in the word vomit). If you liked any of his songs or all of them MC just began his Ten Year Tour with MC Larz and Mega Ran and is coming to St Louis on the 10th of November at the Fubar off Locust and the tickets are really cheap (like 15$ cheap). If you’re not a St Louisian, no worries: here’s a list of his tour stops.
Anyway I know most of my audience are aspiring artists or writers so if nothing else, take a bit of advice from MC Chris: Never give up, Never surrender, Keep fighting the good fight until the end of the night. And don’t forget to check the ring, yo.
- The proper gender neutral pronoun for cartoon or otherwise creatively created beings inc stick figures, animatronics, mascots etc.